Thursday, March 29, 2007

I have a cunning plan

Alas, in keeping with the historical catalogue of cunning plans, it doesn't work.

Cunning plan #1 (so cunning you could brush your teeth with it!): Superglue the handle back on. Status: FAILED.

Cunning plan #2 (so cunning it's just been made professor of cunning at Oxford university!): Call the repair people and get it fixed before dad comes home. Status: FAILED.

(Sidebar: wtf is up with there only been two warehouses that basically supply everyone in the area and don't have the part in stock? I hate you so much awkward gorenji washing machine)

In the end I had to call my dad and 'fess up. I started the conversation with 'Look, I know this is a bad way to start a conversation, but could you please not get angry or shout at me when I finish', a sentence that ranks right up there with 'You have insurance, right?' and 'you know you thought I was getting fat, well guess what Grandad' as potential conversation starters after leaving someone alone in your house for a week. There was a telling pause after I said it in which I'm sure he was expecting to hear that I'd somehow burnt the house down to it's foundations. On the whole he took it reasonably well, of course he could just be waiting until I'm within arms reach so he can throttle me properly, but he said not to do anything about repairs until he got home. I would usually be slightly offended at his lack of faith in me, but all things considered I don't really have a leg to stand on with that.

I am Zan, I break stuff

Guess what I did yesterday? (yes, I know, it could be a long game) I washed my cell phone! I forgot to check my pockets before washing my jeans so it went through the wash cycle; much fun! I have just got a new phone from ebay as I think I can save the SIM card inside so I just need a new handset. The old one is now dead, gone to phone heaven and is enjoying it's new life reincarnated as a toaster.

Also, while panicking and trying to get my jeans out of the washing machine the handle from the washer door broke off in my hand. I am freaking slightly. Dad has been away for the last few days and will be back friday and will FLIP when he hears, so I'm calling the repair people tomorrow and hoping that I can get them to come and fix it before he gets back. The mechanism still works as I can wedge a knife in the place of the handle and it pops open just like before so it's just surface damage, I imagine that general wear and tear left the handle weak and it just happened now. Even knowing this I would have much rather it have been dad who broke it. I tried supergluing it back together so that when dad goes to open the door and it breaks it will look like his fault, but I don't think (excuse the pun) that that's going to wash somehow.

I also messed up the surround sound on the TV about an hour ago because my thumb caught the wrong button on the remote, but I've managed to fix that.

I got a shiny new laptop a week or so ago that I am now TERRIFIED TO TOUCH because apparently there is a rule today that everything I lay a finger on disintegrates.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

*Blows dust off her keyboard*

Ah, so that's where I left all this. Things seemed to have settled a little at home now, at least for the moment. I'll have to see how long that lasts.

Things on the food frontline have been much the same, immense and immovable. I haven't gained, haven't lost, and if I'm brutally honest haven't really tried too hard. I'm back to my bad habits and don't seem to be pulling myself out of them. The upshot of this is a faint feeling of desperation that seems to be growing. I know what to do but actually getting up an doing it seems to be beyond me and it's leaving me contemplating doing stupid things:

I realise the picture isn't too clear but I'm sure you get the point, also, those bits of silver you can see there? The remains of a 100g Toblerone I've just eaten. The fact that I managed it was quite impressive as my throat hurts hurts hurts right up to the ears whenever I swallow right now (paracetamol, Strepsils, and Ben&Jerry's 'half baked' ice cream have all been consumed in the name of soothing).

Given the month I've had I'm thinking of not doing a monthly weigh in to avoid the depression. On the other hand, if I start taking this stuff I'm going to want to see if it actually makes a difference or if I shouldn't bother, so I'll have to think about it. TOM is visiting so I may wait a few days until she packs her bags again.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Don't it make you wanna say Damn

Things going on at home, so I may be more out than in for the next week or two.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Okay Okay, lesson learned

Hmm, so, a few days without posting. That's unusual for me.

The reason for my temporary absence is simple, I had nothing to say. Life has been very rinse/lather/repeat of late and so I thought I'd give the journal a chance to breathe for a moment or two.

The problem with this I think though, is that I stopped doing everything. I didn't read other blogs, leave comments etc at all. I found myself (in an unsurprising parallel) slipping almost immediately. I've mentioned before I'm very all or nothing when it comes to this whole thing, so while I didn't fall in the last day or two there has definitely been a skid here or there. I guess in the end I need to be able to write things down to keep them focused in my head.

The moral to this story children? I'm going to have to keep chugging away with the blog, even if some posts end up being nothing more than the 'what I ate for breakfast log' that I hate reading so much. I have no problem seeing food lists (I like pictures too, I'm talking to you Lisa Jane) but I like there to be actual content here or there.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Food Glorious Food

I just got back in from work, it was a long and busy day. Luckily I had the forethought to buy a meal ready for tonight so I wouldn't hit the chocolate drawer (mmm... chocolate drawer).

Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do with an onion squash? I have no idea how to prepare/cook it as I don't generally eat squash, but it was in the back for employees to buy discounted to 20p. Considering it was quite large and part of the (usually expensive) organic range I couldn't resist.

Monday, March 05, 2007


I weighed myself this morning after the week at my mum's and it would seem I am justly punished, leading to me having to log a measly 0.6lb loss for the month. This is sad.

Oh well, I am back on track now. I have good feelings about March, March is going to do well in my book.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Stephen Sondheim, come narrate my life

I'm leaving my mum's early tomorrow morning to go back to my dad's. This will mean back to home, back to work, back to my own kitchen, and hopefully back under control.

(Back to life, back to sense,
Back to child, back to husband,
you can't live in the woods...)

I keep saying that. Sometimes it sticks and sometimes it doesn't. I think I just get so sick of worrying about everything I put in my mouth, or could put in my mouth, or thought of maybe possibly one day putting in my mouth (noooo! the guilt!). I'm hoping that one day every food choice won't be either a moral dilemma, or require a degree in accounting in order to factor it into my day.

(There are vows, there are ties,
There are needs, there are standards,
There are shouldn'ts and shoulds)

Does anyone else find some of this stuff exhausting? Not the shop/prepare/cook/clean daily grind aspect, but mentally. The constant reminding yourself to do this this and this while doing the number of other things. The constant mental arithmetic of factoring calories in and out as you go about your business. Stuff you're not aways aware you're doing but can't quite stop.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

And now for something completely different

Badly written haiku, my gift to you.

chocolate muffins
ginger cake with hot custard
things I want to eat

Upstairs I undress
and hold my breath but the scale
needle laughs at me

Empty takeout box
I will blame my period
For your needless death

Feel free to add your own in the comments if you want!

Friday, March 02, 2007

Much chocolate has been consumed


Thursday, March 01, 2007

It's all just a little bit of history repeating

So my need to become The Thing That Ate East Anglia became apparent this morning. It would seem that the moment I put a toe across the threshold of my mum's house my body auto-sync'd with her and my little sister and gave me my period a week early. Nice work Body.

No WI for my sidebar today because I want to have all of them done of the same scale. I plan to use the remaining overtime trying to make up from my short stint as the cookie monster these past few days.

In other news:

The Difference Between My Dad's House, and My Mum's (Or, Just Kill Me Now)

If you feel something tickling your leg at my dad's house, it's because a thread has come loose on your skirt or you've brushed against the plant. When you feel something tickling your leg at my mum's, it's because a spider big enough to rival the cat's status as a family pet is crawling up your leg.

I hate living out in the country.