Wednesday, March 28, 2007

*Blows dust off her keyboard*

Ah, so that's where I left all this. Things seemed to have settled a little at home now, at least for the moment. I'll have to see how long that lasts.

Things on the food frontline have been much the same, immense and immovable. I haven't gained, haven't lost, and if I'm brutally honest haven't really tried too hard. I'm back to my bad habits and don't seem to be pulling myself out of them. The upshot of this is a faint feeling of desperation that seems to be growing. I know what to do but actually getting up an doing it seems to be beyond me and it's leaving me contemplating doing stupid things:

I realise the picture isn't too clear but I'm sure you get the point, also, those bits of silver you can see there? The remains of a 100g Toblerone I've just eaten. The fact that I managed it was quite impressive as my throat hurts hurts hurts right up to the ears whenever I swallow right now (paracetamol, Strepsils, and Ben&Jerry's 'half baked' ice cream have all been consumed in the name of soothing).

Given the month I've had I'm thinking of not doing a monthly weigh in to avoid the depression. On the other hand, if I start taking this stuff I'm going to want to see if it actually makes a difference or if I shouldn't bother, so I'll have to think about it. TOM is visiting so I may wait a few days until she packs her bags again.