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Saturday, April 28, 2007

Psychological observations

When I'm off plan and want a socially acceptable excuse to eat, I buy or cook things for everyone else and then join them while eating them. This isn't a particularly new thing; I bake a pan of brownies, everybody has one and when they leave - oh look! half a pan of brownies that I'll have to find something to do with...

When I'm on plan I do something else. I feed other people. I'm not sure why, but some part of my brain feels like it's easier if I'm stuffing other people full of food while not stuffing myself. It's a strange - almost virtuous - feeling. Some people use food to punish themselves, I think that sometimes I use food to punish other people. Looking at that feeling closely and actually identifying it I'm not that proud of myself, but it's a realisation I've just had.

On to brighter things, I saw another low on the scale that I (once again) don't entirely trust because this time I'm finishing my period and have that inevitable light day just after, but it felt nice to see the number all the same.

3 comments:

Janey100 said...

I had a college roommate who always tried to feed everyone else when she was on a diet. She was way out in the open about it though. She would announce that she was dieting so she had to get rid of all the bad food she had on-hand. She would bake and fry until the other three of us were stuffed. Problem is she kept buying stuff and doing this the whole time she was dieting. I guess it made her feel like she was losing even more because the rest of us were getting fat. I guess it worked though because we are now 37 and she is thin and I am fat....ugh! I think I may have to bake some brownies and send them to her as soon as I get off the computer!

Megan said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog since now I've gotten to discover your hilariously written blog in return!

This particular post hit me. My best friend called this morning to tell me she broke up with her boyfriend of three years. One of the thoughts I had? "I should totally go buy brownie mix so she can get a good helping of chocolate. Oh shucks, I can't let her eat alone, now can I? Guess this means I'll have to have some too." A little while later I realized that the best thing I could do for both she and I would be to go out on a walk when it cools down this evening.

Oh sanity, how I love and hate thee.

Great blog. I'll definitely be coming back!

Caroline said...

You know, I do the same thing (I'm in college, the kids on my floor devour EVERYTHING!) They seem to like it though, and I adore baking so I like it too :)