Wednesday, May 30, 2007

A dilemma

I've been busy with work today and so haven't eaten much and now I'm hungry. The problem is that it's nearly quarter to one in the morning as I type this so I don't really want to eat anything now as I'm typing this from bed and anything I eat will literally just be sitting in my stomach and not digesting properly all night. Not to mention that it will throw off my morning weigh in, but that's not such a big deal as I know it's not 'real' weigh. The bottomless pit that lives in my stomach is growling disapproval for contemplating not dropping something in it. I may just try to distract myself with the computer and then sleep it off.

Tomorrow is train day. I'm getting the 11.27 from my local station, then the 12.24 from Birmingham, followed by the 15.48 from Ely. I get stuck in the little nothing station at Ely for an hour because I miss the train by 5 minutes on my connection. Luckily my mum said she finishes college at 16.30 so she can pick me up from Downham Market (the closest station to my house) and take me to the health centre. It saves me £20 (about... $38?) on a taxi fare so that made me quite happy, but I do worry that I'll be late for my appointment. Mum isn't known for her punctuality, and I don't want to risk being late and not getting it done as I have to have the form in by the 8th on pain of losing my job.

I'm really hoping I get lucky and they don't end up charging me to do this. If they can do it during the appointment then they may just class it as an appointment and not a service so no charge. I'm really trying to save my pennies right now, something that hasn't been helped by the fact that I ordered my Japanese textbook and audio CD today, £30 each! And that was the cheapest price, bought from Japan Centre. AND I have to buy my train ticket tomorrow.

Sigh. It's been an expensive day.

I meant to make some chicken/peppers and rice to put in a box for lunch tomorrow and I've only just remembered. I'm not doing it now, I'll just end up eating it. That would make me sad (but The Pit happy).

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Day 7

A very wet and very cold bank holiday to you all. I've been working today so it wasn't really a holiday for me, but never mind.

I had chicken curry on a small baked potato for my lunch today, owing to the fact that I overslept and forgot to grab some food on the way out. As choices go in our canteen it could have been worse, though it did kind of stomp of the no meat idea my book seemed to be giving. I think it may be time to face facts and realise that it may not have been the plan for me (among other things I'm a little too much of a carnivore and my lifestyle just isn't regular enough to do it right).

I am very happy I tried it though, and will keep it in mind whenever I need to centre myself again, as I feel much more in control of myself now then I did. Before I did seem to be floundering and unable to get away from the feeling of being trapped in a downward spiral. Funny how your perceptions of things can change in a week.

It feels like longer.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Day 6

A lazy Sunday was just what I needed. No one was at home when I woke up so I've had the house to myself, and have most of my time on my laptop and listening/dancing to the music channels. Looking at the time now I hadn't realised how late it was (ever since we put the clocks forward the light outside has been tricking me) and I should probably make dinner. Now that I've thought that my stomach is making noises.

I haven't been following the book properly. I just get too lazy or tired to do all the cooking for the evening meal so it's become pretty much a soup, fruit and porridge diet. It's still tasty, still healthy, and (according to the scale) still working, so I'm not hugely worried about it but I think I'm going to make a proper meal tonight instead of going the easy route.

I started learning some hiragana today (one of the Japanese alphabets). My time would probably be better spent learning how to ask for directions and if there is a toilet nearby, but I don't want to become dependant on romanji. For those of you not in the know, romanji is when Japanese words are written using the roman (western) alphabet. I'm worried that if I don't start memorizing the hiragana and katakana alphabets first then I'll find it a lot harder to learn to read and write in Japanese when I finally start learning it properly. I want to be able to more than just speak it you know?

Ugh. Tomorrow is a bank holiday and I'm working. I wasn't supposed to be, but because I needed Wednesday off to go get my medical done I'm having to make up the time somewhere.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Little things

Dad and my half-sister just had a takeaway curry and I had red lentil and pepper soup with a slice of Swedish style rye bread.

(Rye bread: Swedish style vs German style. I think I like the Swedish style better due to the fact that it both looks and tastes like actual bread, rather than resembling a roof tile, but by the same count it just doesn't feel as healthy for me without the consistency of cork)

Doctor Who redeemed itself from last week's abysmal episode with a fantastic, and incredibly frustrating, cliffhanger in a two part episode. They have guaranteed my viewing next week.

I don't have to work tomorrow.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Day 4

Doing alright so far, but I have to remember to take my book to work with me to work tonight so that I get the right ingredients for dinner. Breakfast was my usual porridge with fruit and lunch will be some soup and rye before work. I'm down to my April weigh in so now I've just got to focus until the end of the month so that I will be able to post a loss.

The next week is going to be quite stressful as I'm having to sort out my medical form for Japan and they want it for the 8th, which means getting the train all the way to my mum's for the doctors appointment on a tight time scale. I'm also having to arrange time off work for the orientation in London and sort out hotels etc so it's busy busy. If I can keep on track for the most part with all these ball in the air I will be really happy.

Day 3

Not entirely as it should have been (in timing, not in food) due to unplanned awesome cinema visit. I saw the new Pirates film and ooh, the goodness. It has reaffirmed my love for Orlando Bloom (the prettiness. the prettiness.). It also meant that the original idea of roasted winter veg was lost as it involved far to much time consuming chopping and preparing. Instead I went for the easy (but still healthy) route.

Breakfast: Porridge with raisins and fresh strawberries
Lunch: Other half of carrot and coriander soup, slice of rye bread
Dinner: Organic veg soup, slice of rye, banana, strawberries
Snack: Banana

Thursday, May 24, 2007

I think I need to sit down

JET called to upgrade me today, I'm going to Japan!

*has a small heart attack*

So the next two weeks will be fraught with the stress of getting the medical done (which hopefully *knock wood, turns around three times and spits* should be arranged tomorrow) as they want it by June 8th. Luckily I went ahead, in fit of optimism, and got my police form done already (which takes 40 days) so I don't have to worry about that.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Day 2

I have decided I like rye bread much better when it's toasted. The taste surprised me, not nearly as bad as expected, but I think it's the texture that freaks me out a bit. Whenever it says 'rye bread' in the book now I'm just going to toast it, I can't see that making a huge difference to the health benefits, can you? Today's menu:

Breakfast: Slice of toasted rye bread w/olive oil spread and honey, portion of fruit
Lunch: Carrot and coriander soup (yum!), slice rye bread, fruit
Dinner: The bean thing (leftover from yesterday).

It'll be nice to have dinner ready in the fridge for me when I get back, which will help me not be tempted with other less healthy things.

I nipped on the scale quickly and I'm a pound above my last official weigh in. This isn't actually so bad because it means if I'm careful I could post a small loss this month, something I didn't think would be possible a week or so ago. A lot of the scary weigh in must have been bloat from unhealthy food and TOM I reckon, else it wouldn't have come off this fast.

Day 1

Oops. I forgot to take the pictures of all my meals. The recipe I used tonight was enough for two though, so here is a picture of the same thing I ate for dinner that I've saved for tomorrow.

It had beans, onion, garlic, red and green bell pepper, and tomatoes in it. It would have had courgette (zucchini to you Americans) and black olives to fill it out a little more, but I hate both those things (a throwback from my youth, my mother never met a meal she couldn't put a courgette in) so no dice. First impressions? Not as bad as I thought it was going to be. It tasted good, and made a lot more than I thought it would, so I still got a decent portion size. The thing I worried most about on this was if I was going to be hungry all the time as there doesn't seem to be huge amounts of protein, but not bad today at all, so I'll just see how it goes.

I got some rice milk from the supermarket to replace my regular, and they had one that was flavoured with hazelnut and almond:

It tasted magically delicious and was especially good when I used it to make my porridge this morning. Much better than I was expecting from my previous encounters with non-dairy substitutes

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Zan with a Plan

My little sister gave me a detox book for my birthday, and I've decided to give it a try. Usually I tend to do my own thing with my food, with so much info out there I never know what to follow so I just figure that 'eat less lard/sugar and more fruit/veg' is a good way to go. If I try to keep on any kind of 'plan' for extended period of time I always end straying from it. I have no loyalty that way, I promise fidelity and then run off to have a torrid affair with my boyfriend Cadbury during my lunch break.

I don't know if this is going to be any different. The one thing I do like is that it's a 14 day plan so we're not looking at a long term relationship here (I have commitment issues), but I'm willing to have a fling.

Another problem I have with 'plans' is the sheer amount of time and effort everything takes. I mean, come on, who really has the time or patience to fillet the freshly caught line trout and marinate it in the baby duck's tears overnight? This book has recipes for all the items on the menus it gives you, so I took it to the supermarket and got all the shopping for the next couple of days (I work at a supermarket so I'm not going anymore in advance than that, no point using old 'fresh' produce). I'm not sure yet if actually having to make these things is going to drive me mad or not yet, we'll see.

The big thing I have to remember is that it's just two weeks. Two Weeks. I can do anything for two weeks. The fact that there is an end may help to keep me sane.

Tomorrow's (Day 1) Menu:

Breakfast: Porridge with raisins and apricots
Lunch: Slice of rye bread (or other non-wheat bread), hummus, crudites, 1 potion fresh fruit
Evening meal: Bean Provencale with black olives, 3 tablespoons cooked brown rice, orange and kiwi fruit salad
Snacks: 4 Brazil nuts, 1 banana

I've made a couple of tweaks to the menu, I hate olives so I'm not putting it in the bean thing they're getting me to make, and I don't like nuts so I'll have a different snack. Other than that I'm sticking with it though. If I remember I'll post pictures of the meals tomorrow.

I stepped on the scale briefly yesterday (after seeing a truly horrible number the day before), luckily finishing my period and giving my body a couple of days break from junk showed me a much more acceptable (though still a little higher than my April WI) number. After literally eating myself sick (I woke up the day after my birthday feeling really ill, I may not have been sick but it was a close thing, the start of TOM was making an already bad feeling much worse) I drank lots of water and just ate a little fruit for a couple of days. I wouldn't usually say 'don't eat' is a good strategy, but I really couldn't stomach the thought of food. I'm back to 'normal' now though.

Saturday, May 19, 2007


I just started my period.

Apparently my period has mad tracking skillz that MI6 would envy and on the event of my mother crossing the county line realised that she had just finished hers and immediately tried to sync me up. This is not the first time it's happened; regardless of time, date, or my own personal body cycle I go anywhere near the female members of my family and boom. It's ON biatch.

This may explain why I tried to eat the world all of last week.

Friday, May 18, 2007


It's my birthday.

My dad is out of the country visiting his girlfriend and hasn't bothered to call, my mum is going to drive over tonight, my older sister left a message on my blog, neither my brother or little sister have contacted me. I got a present from my friend in Canada which was lovely, but it seems that no one else could care less. Sigh.

Ignore me. I've been alone in the house for the past week and am just being stupid, it'll pass eventually.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Warning, picture heavy post

I got a new wig recently and I hated it at first due to the fact that it had a fringe (bangs to you Americans), which I didn't feel suited me at all. I tried it on again a few days ago though and thought maybe? I've been test driving it. So: thoughts?

In this pic I've just done all my hair/make-up for work which is why I posted it even though the fringe is all swept to the side (I'm vain like that hehe)

This is a much more accurate picture of what it usually looks like, but in my defense it's 3:45am at time of photo and I'm wearing my glasses so don't judge the rest of my appearance!

Also in this post: How not to lose weight:

Sunday, May 13, 2007

In which the author EATS THE WORLD

More JET woes. The short-lister's were supposed to have submitted their police forms to the Embassy by May 11th, at which point one assumes they would have been ready to start upgrades all the poor little alternates like me. However, because 50 bajillion of them haven't got their police reply yet they've had to extend the deadline from between May 30th and June 6th. Which means I've got an even longer wait.

If I have to go on with them changing the goal posts on me much longer my head may EXPLODE. I'm also kind of scared of emailing them to try and pry out information of where I am on the list and my chances of getting upgraded because I imagine they are inundated with these requests at the moment. I have a feeling if I annoy them enough they may find reason to have me slip down the list a few places.

In other (or, now that I think about it, possibly related news?) I can't stop eating. And may resort to cannibalism if you get close enough. Help.

Edit: Err, Meta? I've had to remove your link temporarily as it seems to now lead to porn. As soon as you get that sorted please tell me so I can add you again! Thanks!

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Damage Report

So, the day after weigh-in has a history of not being a successful one. Yesterday was no exception.

The day after I don't take my pills to give my body a bit of a break; I don't want my body to adapt to them and then need more. This means I tend to get hungrier (or to notice my hunger more). I don't usually worry about it too much because I have the whole month to recover from any blips on the scale, and if I'm going to have a 'free' day, then that's the day to do it.

Yesterday was especially bad though.

I should have eaten something before going to work. I don't have a traditional morning breakfast as I tend to go to bed in the very early morning about 5-ish) and then sleep through, but I should have had something to 'break-fast' before working, be it at home or at work. I was running late so I didn't. I did eat an apple-cinnamon-pastry lattice thing at break.

Something I noticed though! I had a pounding headache after my break. a properly pounding headache. Thinking back over the last week or so I haven't really eaten much refined sugar so maybe that was it? Not that it stopped me from eating a lot more of it but never mind. By the time I went to bed my daily menu consisted of 2 apply lattices, cheesy shepard's pie with peas and gravy, some custard, a mug of tea and a pack of 4 chocolate chip cookies (UK peeps, you know the ones I mean, the bags you get from the bakery section in supermarkets).

The one good thing from looking back at that list is that no matter what the water weight may say from a calorie point of view there is no way I've gained more than a pound from that (and I'm being generous, probably half a pound once you factor in approximately how many calories I should be eating a day anyhow). I can handle that. Giving myself a day or two isn't the end of the world providing I don't start injecting myself with butter or something.