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Monday, June 18, 2007

Bad kitty - no treat!

Not the best of weekends when it came to my food. Saturday saw me having an argument with a co-worker that had been a long time coming, and it made me angry. Even as I went upstairs and fed my money to the WOD (curses! it's gentle lulling away of all my suspicions have led me to an unexpected ambush!) I knew I was just doing it because I was just letting my anger control me. A voice in my head was telling me exactly that even as I stood there but I chose to drown it out with lemon meringue pie. I don't even have the satisfaction of blaming the WOD for it's cunning and generally underhand tactics, as I'm fairly convinced that with the way I was feeling it could have been full of dust and cat hair and I probably would have got a hoover and sucked it up.

It's been a while since I let that happen. The minor doughnut incident aside, anything I've had that hasn't been completely (I totally wrote com-PLATE-ly then, Freudian slip anyone?)on plan has been a conscious decision and I have enjoyed it, but this was just stuffing food in my mouth and hating it after. The rest of the weekend was tainted with a strong scent of 'well, if I've screwed up anyway I might as well eat this too', and Father's Day didn't help because it meant there were treats around I wouldn't usually eat for when temptation got the better of me. Left to my own devices I try to keep the house clear so if I have got massive cravings I'm only left with the choice of porridge, apple or banana for when I just can't resist.

Oh well, what's done is done. I don't (or at least, try not to) beat myself up for things like this because doing so has yet to turn back time or make me feel better. I haven't stepped on the scale as today is the last day of my period and I was going to wait until tomorrow, now I'm just going to hope that I didn't do too much damage to the progress I was making before.

5 comments:

Christine said...

That damn food machine. :) When I had my little "bridesmaid" thing it threw me for a few days. It was stress that I didn't need. Good luck with the weigh in.

Lauren said...

It's all good in the hood.

morbidly obtuse said...

I know all about emotional eating. I binge if I get mad or upset. I know it's a trigger for me, but I can't make it stop! I can wait for about 30 minutes, and although I'm not emotional anymore, I'll still be hungry, and I cave. Last time I scarfed down TWO grilled cheese sandwiches and a whole bowl of tomato soup. While this calmed the beast in my stomach, the voice in the back of my head was NOT pleased!

Catherine said...

I can relate. My eating is completely mindless sometimes. I know it's happening, but don't even realize the impact until after. I hate losing that control. Good luck though, one slip won't undo the work!

Iain said...

As a true Scotsman, I would have to say that I can think of nothing less tempting than porridge. A truly disgusting food. In fact, it's difficult to see it as a food!