Friday, June 29, 2007

If only life could be a paint by numbers

Storms and driving rain in Food Land today. I ate some chicken drumsticks that I got cheap from our hot food counter (257 cals according to fitday), a 'taste the difference' spaghetti bolognese (428) with added cheese (100), two double-takes (sort of a kit-kat rip off) (228).

I usually wouldn't do the obsessive count 'n' post, but it's just one of those days you know?

By numbers this is not a bad day; it's low even! But it's more than just numbers. It's this feeling of slipping slipping slipping, and scrabbling for an edge to hold yourself up by. It's not the calories, but the wasted calories. The chocolate and the cheese and the extra fat of the microwave spaghetti meal. The knowledge that the day could have been much better (fruit! veg! Where for art thou?).

The one saving grace was that I managed to avoid the bakery sweets and cookies that I wanted to buy when I was shopping earlier. I could feel the cravings starting and knew if I bought them I would be eating the whole box, not just one. Dad left this morning and I always have hard days when he's gone.

I got up this morning and the scale had gone up by 0.4 which is nothing. Everybody fluctuates, I know this, but it was the first time this week I have not woken up a lighter weight then when I went to sleep and it didn't feel good even though I knew it would go down tomorrow. Well, it would have, but given the quality of food today I doubt it now.

It's knowing that weigh in is the day after tomorrow and I was going to make a final push to see if I could get another pound down before then and have now probably stalled it.

It's having that gnawing, sinking feeling in your stomach that isn't hunger but is making you eat, and knowing that I will eat more before bed (though I will try to make it a bowl of shredded wheat and nothing else). It's not knowing what changed overnight to make me go from my last post to this so quickly.

It's trying to positive but just having one of those days, one of those days you know?


Christine said...

I am hoping for that final push as well - and I seem to be having one of those days as well. :) Take care.

groovybabe said...

I know those days. Good for you for posting about it and not ignoring it though.
from Groovybabe

morbidly obtuse said...

Big Hugs!!!

It will be okay. I gained a half pound back myself. Today is gym day, I can't wait for this afternoon! Hopefully I'll be able to murder it for good? That's my new outlook on my weight. I'm slowly killing off all the extra weight. I'll have a small funeral (celebration, what have you) each time I reach 10. Ha ha. So .4 pounds have resurrected itself. Kill it again! Ha ha, make it a slow painful death, maybe it won't come back. (I tease, I know this is stupid, but thinking about it makes me laugh. Smile!)

Canadian Gal said...

It's been one of those days for me too, so I can really relate to your post. Hang in there and take care. :o)

Once Upon A Dieter said...

Oh, I'm so sending you the best vibes to get you into a better place. I know those days. Shoot, I've just come out of a cave to realize, "Um, what am I doing?"

So, give yourself a kiss and go find something spicy and full of legumes to fill you up.


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