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Saturday, July 28, 2007

I don't understand....

I feel a bit of a fraud, writing in a diet blog when I haven't actually been dieting. I finish work tomorrow and fly next week and there are so many things I want to eat before I go because rather than just thinking I won't be able to eat them again (oh the mental pitfall of so many a diet!), I actually won't be able to, so I've pretty much been eating whatever looked good and was chocolate coated.

The other day I was really worried about what my weight must be. Having gained so much after London and finally being able to scrape the last of the regain away, the thought of being back to it - or worse, more! had me feeling sick and making deals with myself, God, and the devil.

The scale taunted me. It knew, it knew and I didn't, and I didn't want to but I really did and so no matter how many times I told myself 'right, that's it! I'm not weighing in. What if I'm back to 230? I would be crushed! Distraught! I would slip into a depression guaranteed to send all hope of getting back on track out the window and balloon me back up to 252 and beyond!' I just couldn't stay away. So I finally crept into the bathroom yesterday morning, just as the morning sky was lighting up, hoping to step on and off quickly enough that the scale didn't have a chance to fully wake up and realise what I was doing.

220.4.

... What?

I didn't realise the ninja-like stealth approach actually worked.

I look again, staying to the shadows while it's red numbers blink sleepily. No, I definitely read that right. Really?

It glances balefully into my corner as I sneak away, it's sleep clogged mind not alert enough to add any extra pounds.

I didn't tempt fate by checking again.

5 comments:

Christine said...

Take the number and run with it. Don't step on the scale again - it might change its mind.

Good for you - maybe you weren't being as "bad" as you thought you were.

Take care.

Grumpy Chair said...

I agree, maybe your eating wasn't as bad as you thought and the chocolate just brings on the guilty feelings.

Congratulations! Are you off to Japan next week?

I checked out the link you gave me - ouch!! Houston does flood - but it is around the down town area and we are about 25 miles North. Also, Houston is "the city of bayous" and when it rains, those bayous overflow. Then the news media starts warning us about alligators and snakes!! Eeewww.

Stay dry friend.

Once Upon A Dieter said...

I am so glad for you. Really. I just regained nearly 4 pounds, so I'm bummed.

But not defeated.

Hooray for you and stealth ninja weight loss.

The Princess

christie said...

This made me laugh because I know exactly how you feel. Unfortunately, my scale didn't show me a happy result =)

I feel like a fraud lately too... but I'm just not ready to jump full force back onto the bandwagon yet. I'm close, taking baby steps, but not quite there yet.

Lauren said...

Yay. woo hoo. congrats. I finished harry potter too. Pretty much right away. I was happy with it.