Monday, September 24, 2007

Such a beautiful disaster

I didn't occur to me until after I'd eaten 2 (well, OK, 3) snack-size milky way bars and 6 gourmet cheese and onion pringles that perhaps the trip to Ise foreign food store wasn't the smartest move I made today. Yeah, I'm a little slow on the uptake, and my brain was fogged with images of all the good stuff I was going to eat before I 'started again' tomorrow. My God I bought a lot of junk. Luckily I stubbed my toe on the scale as I walked past with the shopping bags and it let out an angry beep to let me know it was awake, bringing me back to my right mind.

The 2 (2! One white, one milk chocolate) toblerone bars have gone into the freezer, along with the rest of the bag of the milky ways. If I want them I will have the time it takes to defrost them to consider. The pringles have been hidden behind the top shelf cans in my kitchen. I shouldn't even buy pringles, when I eat too many they give me heartburn, and the salt will have me swelling Violet Beauregarde style.

I considered just throwing the whole lot out. But then I thought, what would that actually teach me? Usually I have to have a completely clear environment, no snack anywhere because I just can't resist. The problem is, how does that teach me control? It doesn't, it just removed my ability to indulge. This is no small thing, sometimes that's exactly what I need, but eventually I have to learn to be around these foods without losing my mind. To know that they're always going to be available so not to freak out, else every time I step outside my door I'll go into complete free-fall. I can't always control my environment but I can try and control myself despite it.

It may not work, but as long as I stay in the mentality of 'I can only stop when it's not there to start' isn't really going to let me progress.

It's not all doom and gloom, I bought some healthy stuff too. I bought some Weetabix (breakfast of champions!), and I finally found some red beans! I'm not sure if they're red kidney beans as the label is in Spanish, and they're dried so I have to soak them overnight, but I can start making chili and other vegetable dishes. I also found some light coconut milk to use in my Indian curries, and some make at home naan bread mix.



Lauren said...

I'm going to the foreign food mart tomorrow.

Amy said...

i think it's better for me to have something around, chocolate or whatever, to know it's there if i really want it. the freezer is a good idea too because you'll know it's there and you'll have to plan like "i do feel like i want a some candy, let me defrost one tiny bar and see how that goes".